The Worst Dressed : 2009 VMA's Part 2

Somebody is Packing on the pounds and not buying new clothes.... Someone come get Andy and take him shopping. I know he has to have at least ONE gay friend.
There is so much going on here with Stephanie Pratt. The Ivana Trump wiglet is a wash. Her huge chandelier earrings scare me that she will fall over at any moment. The ill fitted curtain of a dress, shoes that look like free weights. I just don't understand this extra skinny with a side order of bones look. When your thighs, knees and calves don't touch when your feet are together, it is time to realize that you need a sandwich. I bet it was pure comedy watching her drag those shoes one in front of the other. lol

Olivia Sweetie, are you hungry? When you look like a hanger for your clothes, it is time for one of two things to happen. One, do not wear it. Or two, gain a little weight. In Olivia's case, she should do one AND two. Poor honey's belt had nowhere to go at the end. It was just flapped open. I would never want to get accidentally kneed by her... do you see how SHARP that knee is?

I looked up this young lady to see how old she was, only to find out she is only 22. Between her and Lady GaGa, I don't know who is running for Faux Grannie of the year. Either way BOTH win hands and girdles Down. With the 2003 skunk highlights and dress that looks like the back of a deck of dollar store playing cards, I don't know how anyone can send a person out to a place where cameras will be present, looking like this. Looking at her reminds me of all those PTA mommas that come to the meeting in full clown makeup because one of the single dads came to support his kids. When you look 39 at 22 it is time for a MAKEOVER.

Lady GAGA?? No, Lady HAHA... this right here is a big ass joke. She tries so hard to be different but ends up looking like a fool. All she needs now is a swarm of crows and a cane. GaGa, please stop what you are doing and keep it simple. Different isn't ALWAYS best.
Keri Hilson has stepped her weave game up a little. Thankfully she has ditched the black and blonde grandma weave for this fresh cut with little prince lock hanging down the side. You know, like the one Eddie Murphy snipped off of the back of his own head in "Coming To America"? She has stepped it up a little. But this black onesie jumpsuit is so tight I can smell the yeast baking from here. It would not have hurt to get it one size bigger. Other than that, she gets a pass. (Side Note: MTV labeled this pic Ciara. Sad when you are mistaken for another mediocre artist. You all are becoming ONE. Time for all you black female artists to step your game up. You know white folks think we all look alike.)
Since Chris "Beat Um Up" Brown was banned from the festivities, DJ Cassidy decided to represent for him in this "It's my time of the month" bleeding outfit from the "I Never Want A date" BOO-Tique found in some dark city with only blind people. His ill shaped body is showcased for all to see that would make even Mr. Rogers say, Damn Bruh. I vote NO. I will also be sending him a basket of clothes from Good Will to pep up his wardrobe from this travesty here. Wow, orthopedic sneakers.
Very disappointed in Jennifer Lopez-Anthony came with the worse accessory of the night. An Ugly Husband. Coming in a swift second was her UGLY dress ripped from the Figure Skaters against drunk dressing (FSADD) line. She had to be drunk to pair leather shoes and that satiny sleeved dress. We already know that Marc rushed her out the house and told her to wear that bag to make up for the wrong shoes. If Marc wanted his wife to look as unattractive as possible, HE SUCCEEDED. Jennifer, your usual contrived hot lips smokey eye won't work this time. You can relax your face. We don't believe you feel sexy.
After her flapper mishap earlier this year( see post: ) , Melody Thornton has upgraded a little. But still no cigar with this titty mushing number. Her shoes are nice, but this dress made out of left over spandex from the box of leotard material from the Winter Olympics is just not cutting it. Why anyone would wear a dress that stretches your titties to resemble the breasts of someone from the National Geographic African Over the Shoulder Breastfeeding edition is beyond me. After such beautiful makeup and hair along with the shoes, she bangs out this garbage dress. Poor thing. GET A STYLIST.
He is usually pink, like the water that those gross pig feet float in a jar at your local gas station. But now Perez Hilton is yellow. Either it is jaundice or someone tried to drown him in his own pee, since he is always pissing someone off. His outfit... or should I say threads, look like a tablecloth from the back of your local thrift store that just wouldn't sell. He is horrid, and I am still trying to figure out why he is famous. Well maybe not famous... but rather being taken pics of.
With a hairline from hell and clothes that don't match or go on the same person at the same time, Sean Paul showed how NOT to dress. No one over 13 should have on gold sneakers, or be dressed in a night shirt sans the pajama pants. Then to obliterate your own hairline and braid up the remnants is foolish. Sean you get a No BOO BOO, and a bye bye.


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